Never be too sure because that is when you'll look like a fool. If life is a journey, it is sometimes a damn long one. How do you know when to get off the train? Where is my stop? Tired of the same reocurring garbage. I'm restless for change & reaching the breaking point. I guess that's when change happens. When you break.

too much 'stuff'

i was washing my face where random thoughts would enter and leave as they please, when a wee small guilty poked, nudged me...waste.

it began like this.

my brother-in-law playfully, in somewhat, chagrin humour thanked me for keeping the lovely jade tree he gave me one christmas. He had previously come upon a nemo print that was in the 'garage sale' pile with a price tag on it. He had bought this for the girls one Christmas.

it's not so much the amount of 'stuff' we have. we have lots of stuff. but more the neglect we have toward our 'stuff'.

not so much is treasured anymore, and the treasured get down graded so quickly sometimes, that there is no real joy and pride in having the things we have, the things we are given, or the things we buy.

there is way too much of everything in this world and our senses are numb. too much information, technology, junk, toxins, to-do's, stress, madness, yes even pleasures. - too much 'stuff'.

there are now thousands? more? books, seminars, new age philosophies, new psychology, on how to organize, deal with, get rid of, live with, all this 'stuff'.

we are such an accumulating, all consuming, greedy society. and it is showing in the attitudes of the desensitized mini-me's we are having.

we really don't need so much 'stuff'. what we need most is the sharing of ideas, human interaction, community, good network of family and friends, health, time, lots of laughter, joy, good spirit and strong bonds.

'stuff' like that, that we really need, is scarce to too many of us.

as we are all busy busy, doing doing, paying paying blindly into a crazed world of capitalism and consumption that is killing our planet, our consciousness, our sanity...

just another random sub-conscious knowing to put into action.

always restless, never bored.

transitions

well a few more days and i will be back grinding like all my fellow working friends. a year has flown by so fast and i would like another two years. yes just two years :) well maybe three...

it has been a wonderful, overflowing and sometimes trying year. but there were many blissful, cherishing, sweet and pure moments.

elex is transitioning to daycare and it is breaking me. Logically i know all the steps but my emotional mind is illogical. i will buy a lottery today.

it is a bit unnerving when life goes through the different phases ...the transition point is always a bit difficult. that's my stage right now.

it's like an analogy someone used about something else, but is relevant for me now:

to eat chocolate cake or fruit cake? Now who would pick fruit cake when there is chocolate? well doesn't it depend on the cake?

transitions brings some life choices.

Just a story

on March 17 2007 Fred & Kari had a bouncing baby boy. They were over the moon with so much gooey love. Each moment was such joy and wonderment. Fred spend hours on a baby website posting mundane sillyness like each poop baby maddy had or posting a photo of almost each sleeping pose or just describing what each day was like. Kari was adjusting to her changing self in many ways but still in awe at the tiny miracle that needed her so. They were both tired, overwhelmed at times, but so very much in love with him.

A few year went by, and Fred & Kari found out that they could not have any more children.

The tears, anguish and heart wrenching pain was deverstating...

They clung to Maddy with a quiet piercing desperation.

Together but to each, the silence was lonely & deafening.

Happy B-Day Internet!

Apparently April 7 1969 was the birth of the Internet.

RFI1 I think was the first seed. Many debates on the actual day but definite this was the year.

What a fabulous year!

bad day

i would like to be a man today and forever.
yes that would be good.
not the best solution, but there isn't a better model out there yet.
this female thing is a great illusion and our delusion.
the alien that made this counter part should be fired.
it's like windows vista...it sucks.

an english breakfast

ambrey and i made our version of the english breakfast i so loved in london, england.

Yum!